Peer Pressure&Stuff.

So. Have you ever felt like you needed to prove yoself to be able to be friends with someone&if you are not into the shit they do, they make fun of you&judge you? ME TOOO! Haha, well I get now that she did not mean to&once again I freaked out for no reason. But still. Sometimes I just want to get drunk or stoned or fuck someone, or maybe all three at once, just to shut everyone up. I want people to not judge me on what I do or don't do for that matter&actually have their opinion based on me as a person. Peer Pressure sucks. It is something I try not to succumb to&I have not yet. So.. WOOHOOO! for mee. Maybe one of these days I will blog about something not as deep&boring. Lmao. Haha. Well, this was not as long as I thought it was going to be. So I will now blog about stuff that has nothing to do with peer pressure, so hence my title is a lie. So I will change it. It was changed from Peer Pressure... to Peer Pressure&Stuff. Hurr comes the stuff portion...
So today, I woke up late&then went&got pizza. Then I pretty much chilled for the rest of the day. Thurr was a new Hell's Kitchen which was AWESOME. Haha,&I was on the the phone with my dad before&my ma and me were arguing about something. So, I said 'suck my dick'&my dad goes "Amanda, youre on speeaker phone&everyone at the dealership just heard you". So I apologized to them. My dad's a CAR dealer, NOT a drug dealer. So, my mom goes "Why the hell would you have her on speakphone of all people?" Hahah, it was prettty funny. If you didn't laugh, just give me a pity laugh right about..... NOW! Haha. So in the past few days I have watched like 129032193 movies, well not really, but a lot. I saw Shutter, that was pretty good, confusing, but good. Then I saw Don't Say A Word&that was actually really good. So thumbs up to that one. :] Then I saw Burn After Reading&that I did not finish because as soon as Bard Pitt got shot in the head outta no where I said screw this&turned it off. Even tho he did deserve it for cheating on Jenn with Angelina. I HATE ANGELINA& I also hate Kate Winslet, which brings me to my next movie, Revolutionary Road. Haha, so SPOILER ALERT! Kate's character dies at the end of the movie&I felt like justice was served because Leonardo DiCaprio, who I am in love with, is also in the movie, yeah like how they did Titanic together. So justice was served because in Titanic as you all know, Jack dies. Jack is Leo's character. So anyway Kate's character, Rose, lives. So the table were now turned&Kate died this time&I was pretty happy about that. I think that is all the movies I watched. Haha, so I think I am done now. :]

--Mandak, the goodie goodie. :]

My Cat.

Okay, so about 5 seconds ago, I was singing&doing a mighty fine job of it if I do say so myself, but if you ask my cat, he would beg to differ. As I am singing, he decides to give me dirty looks every five seconds&tried climbing up on the chair I am in like three times. He looked pretty scared during some of my high notes, but I like to think he was blown away by my amazing skills. So anyway, I got fed up&looked at him&told him that if he did not appreciate my singing he could go upstairs to which he hissed at me. Yesh, he hissed at me! Yah see, my cat never ever hisses, unless you do something tre tre bad to him, so I was flipping scared. So I proceeded to stand on my chair&scream for help because I am a chicken&thought he was going to claw off my face. He didn't. So, my mom&sister come down. They were on the cats side. Theyre not big fans of my voice either, I like to think theyre jealous. My ma was all like, "Amanda, what did you do to the cat, he never hissses."&my sister so kindly put the cat on me when I was not looking&proceeded to chase me with the cat as I screamed&ran away. So I am now terrified of my cat. I think he may kill me in my sleep tonight. I really really hope not. So today, I hung out with Jaimie Shanay. Shes amazing. We basically did nothing. Haha, we ate&watched tevee. OH!&we also played Jeopardy, which I am also beast at. I am just beast at life. I hope you all know that I am veryy sarcastic&I am not really this self-centered. :] But do you want to know who is really beastt............ ALYSSA LAURENN. Shes ahmazing at life&I love her. :]] <333

--Mandak, Alyssa's #1 fan. :]

Friendship.

So I am doing two of my fave things right now. Listening to my new Demi Lovato CD&eating blueberries. Theyre my addiction. Some people are addicted to drugs, such as heroine&pot, but not me. Im addicted to blueberries, which are much better for you than drugs, so HA! Next time, you have the need for a buzz, eat a blueberry(unless youre allergic). Lmao, whos allergic to blueberries. My friend, Shanany, is convinced she is allergic to cheesecake. She throws up every single time she eats it. So she says. Tonight, was pretty interesting. Let me fill you all in. So, my friend&I have been fighting for the past three nights&tonight we finally had it. As of right now, we are no longer friends. A girl I have known since I was five&grew up is now gone because I am an idiot. I am pretty good at ruining great things in my life. I overreact&then feel like a total idiot about what I just did. Thats what happened today. Now, I am not completely at fault for this. I may have been a bit bitchy about the whole Matt thing&blown it out of proportion, but she betrayed me. She almost ruined my friendship with someone else&if we are ever friends again, I do not know if I will ever be able to trust her. I am taking all of this better than I expected. I mean, I just lost one of the closest people to me. I have other best friends&theyre amazing, but they do not have the past&memories that Caitlin&I share. My other friends&I share our own memories&I would still be upset if I lost one of them, but Caitlin was kinda my solid. Shes the one who I could count on for whatever, NO mattter what. Shes been throught EVERYTHING with me. Now, I have to pretend like I am okay even though I lost one of the closest people to me. This is quite deep for me, yes I know. But, not trying to sound cliche or overdramatic, she was like a sister to me. Yeah, we had our differences&some days I wanted to strangle her, but she was my constant. HAHA. I am making way too big a deal outta this. She prolly does not even care. Shes prolly happy with Matt&when they break up shell try coming back to me. Wait, did I say break up? They are not even going out yet, my badd. Haha, its funny I thought that Caitlin would be one of those friends who I was friends with forever. Like, the kind you see on tevee, where theyve been friends since they were little&grew up together, but I guess not, huh? I don't want sympathy, or for anyone to feel bad because this is my fault&I know it. I just want my best friend back. Haha, I am soo pathetic. I sound like one of those lame girls on tevee, who are wayy too dramatic. I am always too over dramatic. Thats why I am in this mess. I do not know if our friendship is completely over&I really hope not. She said we needed time apart&I actually typed the same exact thing, but did not have the balls to say it because I didnt want to chance loosing her for good. Haha, want to know whats kinda funny? I can name about ten other people I used to be 'best friends' with, but then suddenly we werent. Like I used to go through these so called things as 'best friends' like I go through blueberries. Lets see thurr was: Gina, Jenn, Erica,& prolly a couple more. But Caitlin, she was a constant. She was a true best friend. I really hope that Jaimie&Alyssa are not like Erica&Jenn. I do not want them to be just another friendship that gets thrown away like yesterday. I never realized how important friendship was til today. Its sacred. It can be easily broken&once its broken sometimes it can never be fixed. As the saying goes: You don't know what you got til it's gone. Aiight, well I am done being an overdramatic loserr. :] For anyone who finished this... Thank yah. Cause I probably won't even be able to finish re-reading this. That's how lame it is. :]

-- Mandak, the pathetic.

Miscellaneous.

This blog is about a bunch of things. Seeing as how I have not blogged in FOREVER, well yesterday did not count, I will tell you about my summer. Well right now, I am waiting for my mamacita to return with my Demi Lovato CD&my Greek salad. WAIT, I MUST HAVE SUMMONED HER THROUGH MY BLOG BECAUSE SHES HOME. Haha, she is home&and let me just say that the new Demi Lovato CD is beasttt. Now I am eating Smores&getting them all over my keyboardd. I am kinda no longer in the mood to blog. So I shall tell you all about my summer another time. :]

-- mandak, who is full of smores&salad.

Anger.

Anger. Its an interesting thing. Something thats hard to control if your name is Amanda Kristan Catherine. See, I get angry very easily&then once I am no longer angry&Ive had a chance to calm down I realize how stupid it was to be angry in the first place. I most of the time end up saying things that I later regret&open up uneccessary topics&end up making matters worse. Like today&yesterday for example. See, I have been fighting with one of my best friends. I am just so messed up. Hahah, like seriously. One minute I am mad&then the next I am crying&then the next minute I am happy. Im soo moody. Maybe its cause I am PMSing. Well, my friend has been pissing me off. So one minute ill be furious with her&then the next I do not even remeber why were fighting&then the fight seems soo stupid. Then it repeats itself. I gett pissed again&then realized thurr is not reason for me to pissed. I go through stages of anger.

First:I get extremely pissed&want nothing to do with the person. I completely freak outt.

Second: Then I get so pissed, I start crying.

Third: Once Ive gathered my emotions, I feel fine&think the whole fight is stupid.

I do admit i get mad wayy too easily&I want to start breathing&calming down before I do or say anything because then maybe I can save myself the emotional strain. I prolly sound like a mental patient, but I am almost completely sane, I promise. :] So from now on, its in writing now so I can not go back on, I will go through these steps before I freak out:

First: I will breathhhh.

Second: I will calmly and rationally think about the situation&figure out the best way to approach it.

Third: I will approach it delicately&NOT freak out.

Well, my Tyler Perry's House of Payne marathon is coming on soon, so I will go watch it because that is the BEST show everrr. <333

-- mandak, the angered.